Scientists Discover Happiest Puppy
Twice in the past editors at The Fluffington Post have thought they had discovered the happiest dog on earth: once a year ago and then again four months ago. Not so, say scientists at Sapienza University of Rome, who point to Ellie, whose happiness levels are off the charts.
"Ellie may literally be the happiest dog alive right now," said researcher Salvatore Magliocco. "Ellie’s showing extremely elevated levels of serotonin and an increased number of endorphins. She’s just really happy, all the time."
Off the charts happy, according to Magliocco, who says that Ellie’s general mood is unprecedented. When compared to other dogs on record, Ellie is nearly twice as happy by most metrics.
"She never seems sad," he said. "We’d expect this amount of happiness to come with some manic tendencies, but she’s all peaks, no valleys. This is just one happy dog!"
— Liberal Arts (via pessimisticccoffee)
three cats are competing in a race. there’s an american cat named “one two three”, a german cat named “ein zwei drei”, and a french cat named “un deux trois”. the cats all swim across a lake. the american cat finishes first, the german cat finishes second, but the french cat is nowhere to be found.
because the un deux trois quatre cinq
IM LAUGHING SO HARD AT THIS JOKE IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND IT I FEEL SO BAD FOR YOU
for some reason i thought both of these were the same post and i sat for awhile trying to figure out which ice cream face was the weak bitch
yall are really fucking shit up for me
so how do i incubate an egg i want a chick
It’s because they’re from Tumblr.
But I guess ultimately what scares me about marriage is where do you find this person? You know a lot of times, most successful relationships, people meet through work, school, mutual friends.
But what’s most interesting to me is when people just meet in life, just randomly.
You know, I have a friend, he got married, I asked him like “Hey, uh, where’d you meet your wife?” He was like “I was leaving Bed, Bath & Beyond. I was looking for my car - I drive a gray Prius. I saw a different gray Prius, I thought it was mine, I walked up to it, I realized I had the wrong car, but I bumped into Carol, we started talking, that was that”. That’s unbelievable.
Think about all the random factors that had to come together to make this one moment possible - this one moment that changed these two people’s entire lives:
First off, this guy has to live in this particular town. Then he has to get a gray Prius. Then he has to need to go to Bed, Bath & Beyond. Then he has to go to that particular Bed, Bath & Beyond. Then there has to be another guy who also lives in town, also drives a gray Prius, also needs to go to Bed, Bath & Beyond, also goes to that particular Bed, Bath & Beyond at around the same time. Then they have to both park somewhat near each other, my friend has to leave before the other guy leaves, see the wrong Prius, think it’s his, walk up to it. Then the woman, Carol, needs to be near the wrong gray Prius for a million other random reasons. They bump into each other, they start talking, their entire lives are changed.
That’s the most amazing and terrifying thing about life.
It is, cause the amazing thing is that at any moment, any one of us can have that moment that totally changes our lives. You could be leaving the show tonight, bump into someone… it could change your life. You don’t know, that could happen.
The terrifying thing is… what if we’re all supposed to be at Bed Bath & Beyond right now?
— Aziz Ansari, Buried Alive (via urbancatfitters)
only 90s kids can reblog this
one time a white student from the university in my home town was talking to a student that came from africa to study and said “wow growing up in africa must have been so tough for you” and he just replied “my family could buy you” and walked away
i want to force like 75% of male nerddom to watch this conversation